Thank you, Mom.

I felt it was fitting to make a personal post this week as an ode to my Mom since Mother’s Day is this weekend. I think finding some time to celebrate this woman in your life is important. I know for me, it’s really easy to take her for granted. I just assume she will always be there in my life. I assume that she knows I love her (without me having to tell her). I assume she will share her strong opinions with me because that’s just her nature. I assume she still sees me as a child who needs her guidance. And I assume she understands where I’m coming from at all times. However, we all know what assuming does…yup, it makes an a$$ out of you and me. So I have been working on not always assuming and trying to take a more understanding approach as I get older.

A mother-daughter relationship is a complicated mystery in the world we live in. I think it’s so easy to compare the relationship you have with your mom to your friend’s relationship with their mom. But you have to remember, comparison is the thief of joy. This is a lesson I have learned over the past couple of years given the rise of social media. I work every day to mindfully not compare myself to other people. So I should also apply this to my relationship with my Mom, right? When you talk with a friend and they share how close they are with their Mom it can sometimes make you feel like your relationship isn’t right. Vice versa as well, if someone is vocalizing that they are not close with their Mom at all you can in reverse feel that you have a great relationship compared to theirs. In reality, though, relationships take work. They aren’t a stand-still roadblock, they are a moving intersection that needs communication and teamwork to thrive successfully.

I think a mother-daughter relationship is meant to ebb and flow over the years. If it didn’t, there wouldn’t be growth in the relationship. For instance, growing up I always had a very close relationship with my Mom. I didn’t grow up with any sisters and my two brothers were much older than me and weren’t always around. Towards the end of my junior high years and throughout my time in high school, my dad worked out of state and we only saw him occasionally. So this left the house as just my Mom and me most of the time. I wouldn’t change these years at all, our relationship was fantastic and we were able to do a lot of stuff together. Not to mention, she was my biggest fan and was constantly supporting me in everything I did. I will never forget my senior year of high school when my Mom never missed a single sporting event I had (mind you, I was a 3-sport athlete so there were a lot of events). No matter how far away it was or what time we ran that race she always showed up. That is a memory that I will always cherish and be thankful for. That right there just proves how involved, supportive, and encouraging this woman is.

But let’s fast forward to me going off to college and then graduating and starting “real life”. I believe as a young adult these are some of the most crucial and fundamental years of a person’s life. These are the years that it’s important to know you have your family there to catch you if you fail, but it’s also when you really develop those wings to fly on your own. If you were always trapped in a nest of comfort you wouldn’t learn how to go about life on your own. The empty nest experience that parents are left with probably really lonely (I wouldn’t personally know). It most likely feels different than what they were used to and is ultimately the cause of those conflicts in relationships. Tension begins to grow in the parent/child relationship. A parent still tries to guide their child through life, and a child is trying to develop an understanding on their own while experiencing failures. After all, failure is the best teacher in life. This is where I’d say my relationship currently is with my Mom. I don’t think this is a bad thing at all, I just think it’s emotionally hard for both units in the relationship.

I love my Mom with my entire heart and I couldn’t imagine life without her in it *insert tears forming in my eyes as I write this*. I recognized that I am absolutely blessed to have such a caring, thoughtful and loving individual in my life. Someone who would literally do anything for me. As I get older, and the idea of becoming a mother myself is developing in the semi-near future, I am finding myself having these “step back moments of clarity” where I have to recognize what my Mom has gone through during these “growth years of my life” when I’m trying to become my own individualized adult. My frustration with her is usually stemming from me trying to prove that I CAN do things on my own. I CAN be a strong woman who knows how to adult. But until you can take that step back and recognize how the relationship changes over the years, you’ll be stuck in frustration. I am glad that I am beginning to empathize with her and realizing all we humanly can do is continue making sure our relationship grows and changes through the years instead of getting stuck in one season of life we have experienced together.

So to all the moms out there who need to hear this, your daughter still loves you so so dearly. They just need a little space to fly and trust me…they will come back and bring so many experiences and growth with them. You just have to remember that they are their own individual selves and not the same exact little kid they used to be. I think almost all mother-daughter relationships stretch during these years, but they return. Patience seems to be the key here.

After giving some background on my personal relationship with my Mom, let’s dive into what I owe to her and am thankful I received. My Mom is the source of where my creativity came from. She is an extremely creative individual and it shows when you visit my Grandma’s house and see all of the artwork my Mom created STILL proudly on display! You name it, she did it. Whether that be oil painting, regular painting, drawing, sculpture, sewing, stained glass, being a florist, a great gardener, collector, epic thrifter, etc. She flexed her creativity throughout her life and infused that into my life. I was always encouraged to express my creativity and play with my imagination. I learned that from her, and boy am I glad I had that in my life. I wouldn’t be where I am today if it wasn’t for this encouragement. When I took every art class offered throughout school and then decided I wanted to pursue a graphic design degree in college, I was never steered away from it. I was instead rooted on and told I would succeed at what I found a passion for. Fast forward to now, when I’m embarking on an entirely different part of my life by building my own business and flexing my creativity in a way I’ve always had immense drive and passion for. What have I received from my Mom during this time, words of encouragement. Even if she didn’t fully understand where it was going in the beginning, she was still proud of me. That feeling of making a parent proud is indescribable. That’s all you want to do when you’re a child, so to embark on something super scary and far from what I’m used to and still receive an “I’m proud of you” from a parent is priceless. It becomes fuel to keep on going!

All of this to say, THANK YOU, MOM. Thank you for being a constant in my life and encouraging me to pursue what I’m passionate about. Thank you for continuing to work on our relationship over the years even if it changes often. Thank you for all of the love and support you continually provide and Happy Mother’s Day! <3