My Feelings on “What Now?”

This is what I asked myself every day after getting laid off in July of 2020.

Truthfully the question of “what now?” was even more confusing than what you think because in April of 2020 my husband (fiance at the time) accepted a new job located in Chicago, IL. YEP….that meant Illinois, and no longer Wisconsin (saddest moment ever! If you know you know - there’s a bit of a border battle between us haha #GOPACKGO). Thankfully, of all the cities he could have accepted a job in, Chicago was going to be okay. Considering it’s only 1-1.5 hours away from West Allis where we currently live and 2 hours back to our hometown of Mayville, WI.

So why am I still asking myself “what now?” Well, this future move put me in a pickle considering we wouldn’t be in Chicago immediately due to the safer-at-home order. With an impending move upon us, it made it hard for me to personally plan for my future career. I wasn’t going to find a new job in Milwaukee for an unknown period of time, and I didn’t love the idea of finding a new job in Chicago that I’d have to start remotely at either. So this left me in quite a limbo. An unknown limbo, filled with questions from loved ones and friends about when/where I’d be finding my new job.

I knew my friends and family meant well when they asked me this question, but it always sent my brain and emotions into a spiral of confusion. I couldn’t help feeling like a failure or “lesser” of an adult because I hadn’t found a new job. Honestly, I think the worst part about the bizarre situation was the assumption that I was going to stay home and let Aaron (my husband) pay for everything and I wouldn’t contribute. People may not have said it in those exact words, but it was the undertones of the questions people asked that made it clear this is what they were thinking. Which in return made me feel useless, ashamed, and angry!

Those feelings I was having made me reflect on how much we tend to assume about people’s lives. In today’s world, people are constantly posting about their lives (usually being highlight reels) which makes us believe we know all about what’s going on in them. But in reality, we don’t and we shouldn’t make judgments.

For instance, hardly anyone knew about all the work I was putting into building Untapped Potential and officially making it a business, educating myself in something I’ve never done before, finding myself through personal development books/podcasts, all while being extremely vulnerable and willing to share my experiences. So something that I try to prioritize is having moments of break for myself where I just take a mental break, whether that be from questions people ask, posting on social, or SCROLLING (and comparing) on social because all it does is cause unnecessary stress and comparison that’s unhealthy.

So to anyone reading this that might feel like they don’t know their “what now?” answer, just know that you need to stay true and confident in who you are and continue working on developing yourself whatever that may be. Inspiring yourself to continue being better is the one thing you have control of, not the assumptions that people may make that ultimately cause you to feel upset.

As for my “what now?”, there’s no exact answer I can give at this moment. All I can guarantee is that I’m continuing to try new things and challenge myself with some personal growth and experiences. I have big dreams for Untapped Potential and I hope if I set my mind to them they will happen.

Thank you for being here to support and encourage me through figuring out my “what now?”.